Your Lack of Time Is Your Problem
A lot of working moms walk around believing their time isn’t actually theirs.
They “have” to work.
They “have” to get the kids to school.
They “have” to do the laundry, the groceries, the scheduling, the remembering.
Over time, that turns into resentment. Toward their spouse. Toward their job. Toward everyone who seems to have it easier.
Here’s the uncomfortable truth: if you blame external circumstances for your lack of time, you will never fix it.
Because you are already managing your time. You’re just doing it poorly.
Step One: Admit You’re Already Choosing How Your Time Is Spent
If you feel like you have no time as a working mom, the first thing you have to drop is the idea that everything on your plate is a given.
It’s not.
Ask yourself: what am I treating as non-negotiable that actually isn’t?
Look at this week alone. What is taking up a disproportionate amount of time? Laundry? Driving kids everywhere? Errands you hate?
Almost everything can be outsourced, delegated, or eliminated.
I pay people to make my kids’ lunches, wash, fold, and put away laundry, clean my house, organize closets, and wrap presents. This isn’t extravagant. It’s strategic.
The key is not delegating what you enjoy. I like walking my kids to school. I like doing homework with them. Those stay.
Laundry and chauffeur duties? Gone.
Step Two: Audit Where You’re Bleeding Time (It’s More Than You Think)
If you think you have no time, check your screen time report on your phone.
Then add a mental asterisk.
Screen time usually understates the real cost because it ignores task switching. You check a text, flip back to work, re-orient, lose focus, then repeat. That context switching quietly eats time and energy.
When I checked my screen time report, I was surprised to see how much time I spent texting. One day it was over an hour. That was an hour inside the app plus the extra time it took to refocus on whatever I was doing before.
Same with “relaxing” habits. There is nothing wrong with watching Netflix or having a glass of wine. The question is how much time something actually takes up once you factor in the spillover. Wine doesn’t just take the time you’re drinking it. It affects your sleep. That affects your energy the next morning. That bleeds into the following day.
When I cut two Netflix + Wine nights down to one, I got a clear win-win: less alcohol and better energy. More time and better focus.
Step Three: Question the Thought “I Do Everything”
If you have a spouse or partner, resentment around time is extremely common.
Most people genuinely believe they do almost everything. That’s not because they’re dishonest. It’s because we are wired to notice our own effort more than anyone else’s. We experience our own labor directly and other people’s labor indirectly, so their work fades into the background.
This perception gap is well documented. According to Pew Research Center, 59% of women say they do more household chores than their spouse or partner, while only a small percentage say their partner does more. Men, by contrast, are far more likely to say chores are shared equally or that they themselves do more. In other words, feeling like you “do everything” is incredibly common, which is exactly why that thought deserves to be questioned rather than automatically trusted.
That doesn’t mean the work is perfectly equal. It means your brain is not a neutral judge.
Before you conclude that your partner does “nothing,” slow down and list what they actually do. Not what you wish they did. What they consistently do.
My husband takes out the garbage, loads the dishwasher every night, makes sure the kids are fed, and handles things I ask him to do, like changing sheets or fixing problems.
Is it perfectly equal? No.
Is it nothing? Also no.
The thought “I do everything” should be examined, not indulged. Unquestioned thoughts fuel resentment and keep you managing more than you need to. Questioned thoughts create leverage and open the door to real changes in how your time is used.
“But I Still Carry the Invisible Load”
Yes. You probably do carry the invisible load.
And here’s the part that matters: if you are carrying it, it is in your hands.
Which means you can put it down.
The invisible load doesn’t disappear when tasks are redistributed. It disappears when management is redistributed.
If you assign a task but still:
- remember it
- monitor it
- remind someone about it
- check whether it was done
then you didn’t delegate. You added management.
Here’s what transferring management actually looks like:
If backpacks are always your mental burden, the job isn’t “help me with backpacks.” The job is “you own backpacks.” That means checking them daily, handling missing items, and dealing with consequences.
If school forms stress you out, the job isn’t “can you fill this out.” The job is “you handle all school paperwork from start to finish.”
If laundry is delegated but you still notice when socks are missing, it’s not delegated. Ownership means the outcome is no longer yours to track.
Letting go of management means accepting that things may be done differently than you would do them. That discomfort is the price of real time back.
Complaining about the invisible load while refusing to release control keeps it firmly in your hands.
If You Actually Want More Time
If you truly want to solve the problem having seemingly no time as a working mom, guilt and venting won’t help. Systems will.
That’s why I created the 7-Hour Challenge, where I show how to protect focused time and eliminate low-value tasks.
I also put together a free guide for working moms with unconventional productivity strategies you can implement immediately.
