Instead of calling me “supermom,” can you help with the laundry. Thx.

The term “supermom” is defined as a “mother who successfully manages a household and cares for her children while holding a job or being active in her community.”

Why I don’t like the term supermom

There are two reasons I don’t like the term supermom.

First, it is the equivalent to being an “administrator”

We become “supermom” because we do all the crap no one wants to do and carry the invisible burden.  

It is like when we give someone a fancy title so they take on the busy work no one wants to do (hello, administrator!) 

Please. Demote me.

There is also a bit of a toxic undertone that if we did not carry this large invisible burden—taking kids to class parties, soccer games, field trips—and surviving guilt trips, then we would not be a super mom.  

The word “supermom” both recognizes this invisible burden and traps us in it, doing nothing to lighten the load.

It lets us keep the bar set low.

The other thing that bothers me about the term supermom is that it allows us to keep the bar set low. I was once called a “supermom” for getting my kids to school on time. Apparently, showing up—alive and dressed somewhat weather appropriately—is all it takes to earn the title.

Instead of being in charge of all the stuff no one wants to do, I think a real supermom takes care of herself. And makes time to exercise, take care of her mental health, and sets a good example for her kids in the process.

If I am a “supermom” because I get my kids to school on time and alive, then that is a bit of a low bar.

What I wish you would say instead…

I’d rather you tell me I’m doing a great job when you see me doing something that is great. Like not screaming at my kids when the bell has already rung and they are still dragging their feet and not listening to me. That is a real win!

But even more, help me be a real supermom by taking some of the invisible burden off my plate.

What do we wish you would do instead of calling us supermom?

Here are some ideas, assuming you are close to the mom:

• Offer to fold the kids’ laundry AND put it away.
• Instead of just offering a date-night babysit, take the kids away somewhere fun, active, screen-free, with healthy snacks. Then bathe them when they get home! (Still offer the date night, too—lol.)
• Offer to chauffer. Take the kids to their haircuts or soccer practice. Ask the supermom what she prefers and give options….(some moms actually like soccer practice, a very big mystery to me…so double check).  
• Get the supermom an Uber Eats gift card or something similar.  
• Help with the morning or nighttime routine—reading books, brushing teeth, anything.

Because even supermoms need a sidekick.