What is social health for working moms? Most of us think of health in terms of exercise, eating well, maybe sleep or mental health. But what about relational health — our in-person connections, the time we spend with others outside our immediate family? Turns out, those connections matter just as much as the things we’ve prioritized.

Researchers found that people with stronger social relationships had a 50% increased likelihood of survival compared to those with weaker ones. That’s not a small effect. The Harvard Study of Adult Development — one of the longest-running studies on happiness — also concluded that close relationships are the single strongest predictor of long-term health and happiness, even more than genetics or income. And the World Health Organization recently confirmed that social connection “can protect health across the lifespan… reduce inflammation, lower the risk of serious health problems, and prevent early death” In short: relational health is health.

My decision

As a working mom juggling three young kids, a business, a never-ending to-do list (and yes, some strong introverted tendencies), I realized I’d treated socializing like a “maybe if I have time” option. But what if it wasn’t optional? What if it were part of my health plan?

So for this quarter, I set a goal: see friends in person FOUR times a week.

On the face of it, it sounds crazy.

• I’m an introvert. Initiating plans doesn’t always feel natural and I prefer to read with a glass of wine by myself on any given night!
• Time is limited. Between kids, work, household, everything else — a spare hour seems rare.
• I also deeply value family time, and I didn’t want “friend outings” to steal that.
• I worried that if I forced it, it would feel like another to-do instead of a rejuvenation.

But here’s the kicker: it turned out to be easier than I thought!

I blocked time in my calendar once a week just for “reach out to friend time.” Without that block, I guarantee it would’ve slipped. The calendar trick made it real. During this time, I reached out to everyone I wanted to hang out with to see when they were free. This included new friends and some school-moms I had never really talked to.

And I created some simple “rules” so the goal stayed doable and non-stressful:

• Phone calls don’t count (though I still call my cousin and BFF out-of-state because those are energizing!) I wanted in-person time.
• If I’m paying for it (say a personal trainer or a hair-stylist), that doesn’t count. Those are bonuses but not part of the quota. Otherwise I’d just hang out with people I pay and call it done!
• Parties count! School parties, volunteering with parents, family gatherings with siblings/cousins do count.
• Time does not matter. A walk around the block with a friend after dropping off kids? Counts. Even if it’s 20 minutes.
• Time with siblings or cousins counts too. (In theory time with a parent could count — I chose not to in this quarter.)
• Bringing my kids is totally fine. I used a play-date with another mom + kids as one of my four.

What a week looked like

For example, I did all of the following:

• I met a new friend for lunch.
• I got together with an old friend I have not seen for a year (and she brought a friend too!)
• I volunteered at a class party for my kindergartener
• I went to a family birthday party
• I scheduled time to watch a football game with our neighbors
• I scheduled a play date with a mom and her child
• I hung out with my sibling

Every time I hung out with a friend I felt better. I was in a better mood. I was more energized. It was truly a stress-reliever, not an additional burden. This made me realize how important social health is for working moms.

Why it matters (and why it is easy)

Because when we connect in person we don’t just have fun — we protect our health. We feed our relational selves. And because wellness isn’t just physical, the connection piece is essential.

And really: it is easier than you think. You don’t need elaborate outings or long drags out of the house. You just need:

• A calendar block. Make the plan, treat it like you’d treat a workout or meeting.
• Flexibility. It can be 20 minutes, it can be with kids, it can count whether you’re meeting someone new or catching up with a sibling.
• A goal that’s reachable. Four times a week may feel bold — but the point isn’t perfection, it’s priority. Even two times is a win. I made my goal four because I new I would “go big or go home!”. And having so many times forced me to be creative and do a lot o freachout!
• A mindset shift: this is not optional extra. This is part of your health plan.

Social health for working moms (yes, you)

• If you’re pressed for time: schedule one short meeting this week. A 30-minute walk, coffee with a friend, a play-date with another mom.
• Introvert? Great — call it “refill time” not “big social event.” Keep it low-key, comfortable.
• Worried about family time? Combine them! Invite a friend plus kids. The kids play, you chat.
• Make it visible. Block it. Write it in, find one friend and send that invite today.
• Remind yourself: this is health care, but relational. Just like you wouldn’t skip your morning run (okay, you might, but you know what I mean…) don’t skip this either.

Side note on my goal + how I’m tracking it

Quarterly goals = my favorite format (not a once-a-year lofty thing but a three-month doable chunk). This quarter: “see friends in person four times a week.”

I’m tracking it in a simple list — jot down the day + what I did. No judgment if I miss one; it’s the pattern that matters, not perfection.

Final note

You don’t need to copy my four-times-a-week goal — but you do need to pick something. Set a number. Make a few rules. Block it on your calendar. Otherwise, it won’t happen.

I was surprised by how easy it was once I stopped overthinking it. Relational health takes less effort than you think — and the payoff is huge. So stop treating social time like a bonus for when you “get around to it.” It’s part of staying healthy. Treat it that way.