If you are looking for a self-care checklist for working moms who do it all, you have come to the right place! Here we cover five critical areas of self care that you need to prioritize as a working mom—and we tell you how to do it.
But before we go through the self-care checklist for working moms, there are two important principles you must be aware of.
You must put yourself first.
One of the pieces of “traditional” advice for working moms is the tip to “find a few minutes for yourself each day.” I do not have to be the one to tell you if you are trying to find a few minutes for yourself in a day that is already way past filled to the brim with tasks, you will come up empty. You will fail.
And the mindset is frankly, wrong.
It is not about finding a few minutes here or there. That means you are literally putting yourself last.
Instead, it is about proactively scheduling time—and a LOT of it—in your schedule for yourself.
Some moms feel like they have to put themselves last so they can put others first. As a result, they never schedule any time for themselves. I hear this all the time from moms who do “not have time” to themselves, or to exercise, or to do anything besides work and try to control the chaos of the household.
The blunt truth is if you are putting yourself last, you are also dragging your family and others down with you too. You are showing up as, at best, a mediocre version of yourself. And that will pervade every aspect of your life and affect everything you do.
On the contrary, by putting your mental health and physical health first, you are raising up not only yourself but the whole family with you. By putting yourself in the best physical and mental state each day, you are giving everyone the absolute best version of yourself. And, not to mention, you are setting a good example for them. Your kids will learn to prioritize their mental and physical health even when things get busy and even if it seems like they “do not have time.”
So put yourself first. Because by doing so, you elevate yourself and your family.
You must build self-care routines.
I go to bed at 9 PM. I wake up at 4 AM. I write in my journal then run 10 miles. I do this six days a week almost without thinking about it. It is because I have built up self-care routines.
If it is a routine, it will be a “default” in your calendar—something you do with very little thought.
How do you make something a routine? Start by adding recurring time blocks right into your calendar so that these times are blocked off for self care. I recommend doing this in the morning before anyone else is awake. That way, you are figuratively and literally prioritizing it and you are starting your day on the right foot.
So, with those two critical points out of the way, onward to the self-care checklist for working moms.
Self-Care Checklist for Working Moms
1. Exercise
Start this ASAP.
This is my favorite place to start because you will start feeling better as soon as you exercise. If you are a working mom, the best time to exercise will most likely be the morning. You start your day right, with confidence, and there are much less interruptions or distractions if you get up before the rest of the world. I highly recommend you consider setting your alarm earlier so you can block this time to exercise.
If it is absolutely necessary, you can also exercise with your kids. There are exercise videos for kids on YouTube, that can also count as exercise for adults. You can go walking or biking with toddlers. You can take your baby out in a jogging stroller. I don’t prefer exercising with kids because one of the benefits of exercise is having some time alone and mentally recharging. However, it is an option and it definitely beats not exercising at all.
Whenever you decide to do it, put it in your calendar now.
Be honest with yourself.
Do not settle for less than your best here. Some people say “any movement is good!” and “even 10 minutes a day!” However, the more you move, the better you will feel. Ten minutes a day is frankly not enough. And while, “any movement is good” the goal is not to do the bare minimum to stay alive. The goal is to make your physical health a top priority. So settling for “some movement” or “ten minutes a day” is truly that—settling. Don’t settle when it comes to the most important thing—physical and mental health.
And while you’re at it, consider how you exercise. I see a lot of moms talk about their afternoon walks. But for many people, merely walking is not good enough exercise and will not recharge you the way running, biking, swimming, or lifting weights will.
If you are already exercising, consider amping up your routine. When I doubled my exercise routine, I also doubled my productivity.
2. Rest
If you have bad sleep, you will likely have a rough day ahead.You will not be able to focus or concentrate as well as you normally can. You will likely make worse decisions about what to eat. You will not feel good.
There are many ways to get better sleep. Here are just a few of many stellar tips out there.
- Try to go to bed and wake up at similar times every day
- Exercise! (See Tip 1! Getting good exercise every day is a great way to fall asleep quickly!)
- Make sure your room is dark and you have a good wind-down routine (e.g. reading a fiction book before bed)
- Take care of any mental health issues that may be contributing to poor sleep or anxiety
- Limit alcohol or other drugs or medications that may affect your sleep
If you have children that keep you up, you are not alone; yesterday my five-year-old woke me up because he was so excited that the tooth fairy visited him after he lost his first tooth. My baby will occasionally have a nightmare and wake up overnight. It happens. If it happens frequently, talk to your pediatrician or doctor about what you can do.
3. Mental Health
If you are depressed, anxious, or otherwise in a bad state of mental health, this will negatively affect every aspect of your day. Seek counseling as your number one priority to determine the best path for you.
Make taking care of your mental health a priority. If you dedicate time to it every day, you will build up your mental health. Think of it the same as going to the gym. If you lift weights consistently, you will get stronger. If you focus on your mental health each day, you will develop whatever you are working on—spiritual awareness, clarity, or qualities like grace, resilience, and maturity.
When I get up every day, I like to write in my journal, do a worksheet (from Byron Katie’s “The work”), meditate, or read poetry. I spend about 30 minutes on this a day. (During my morning run, I will also do gratitude exercises.)
There are numerous things you can do each day to take care of your mental or spiritual health:
- Journal
- Gratitude exercises
- Affirmations
- Meditation or yoga
- Prayers
- Reflecting
- Reading
Pick one or two that appeal to you and get started so you can build the habit slowly. I recommend you do this first thing when you wake up (while you have some coffee!), and then go right to working out. That way, these two extremely important things can be prioritized.
4. Develop Healthy Eating and Drinking Habits
We all know we need to eat (and drink) better. So it is probably not a shock to see this on the checklist.
The best way to do this is to make it as easy as possible for yourself to make good decisions over the week.
- Batch cook or cut up fruits and vegetables as a healthy snack. (As you might guess, I am going to tell you to add this to your calendar as an event you do once or a few times each week!)
- Order precooked meals
- Keep alcohol, sweets, or other temptations out of eye level in your pantry and out of easy reach.
Follow your doctor’s advice on what to eat and what to limit.
5. Preventative Care is a Must.
It is difficult to get a lot done if you’re dead.
And that is why preventative care may be last, but is certainly not “least”, on this self-care checklist for working moms. It is imperative to follow whatever preventative care is recommended to you. This may be:
- Mammograms
- Pap smear
- A colonoscopy
- Dermatologist visits
- Getting vaccines (e.g. yearly flu shots)
Right now, schedule 30 minutes into your calendar to either (a) call your primary care doctor, or (b) find one on google that has decent reviews and is close to your house. Then make an appointment. At that appointment, they’ll order any necessary tests and run your bloodwork to ensure you’re healthy.
Important: when you are there, make your next visit appointment for the next year. This way, it is already in your calendar and you don’t have to proactively think about it again.
Set aside an hour after your appointment with your primary care doctor to make whatever follow-up appointments are needed (mammogram, etc.). Get it all in your calendar right then and there. Or you will put it off and may very well regret that decision.
I lost a family member close to me from a very avoidable disease because they did not get the recommended preventative cancer screening. They regretted it every single day until they died. Do not make this very avoidable and literally life-altering mistake.
Many people focus on day-to-day things—eating healthy, exercising—and lose sight of these basic preventative care practices that can make massive differences in their health and their life span.
While you are at it…
Make a dentist appointment. (When you are there, make your next visit appointment.)
I called this a “self-care checklist for working moms” but really it is not just self-care, because by taking care of yourself you are taking care of everyone around you. By prioritizing your own mental and physical health, you are showing up as the best person you can for the longest amount of time possible.
